on *:text:!ohno:?: {
  set %next 0
  if (%next == 0) { msg $nick -Beep- Crash sequence initiated | set %next 1 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No }
}
on *:text:Yes:?: {
  if (%next == 1) { msg $nick You can't reboot. | set %next 2 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 2) { msg $nick I just said you can't reboot, dumbhead! | set %next 3 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 3) { msg $nick ARE YOU NOT LISTENING WHEN I SAY THAT YOU CAN'T REBOOT!?!? | set %next 4 | msg $nick Well, you can't reboot. Would you like to hit your computer with an umbrella? | halt }
  if (%next == 4) { msg $nick WELL TOO BAD! YOU DON'T HAVE AN UMBRELLA, DO YOU!?!? | set %next 5 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 5) { msg $nick Oh my goodness! You can't reboot! Stop asking to reboot! | set %next 6 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 6) { msg $nick You can't. Reboot. So stop asking. | msg $nick Would you like to hit your computer with A. a rake B. a hammer or C. a small child? A/B/C | set %next 7 | halt }
  if (%next == 8) { msg $nick WELL! YOU OVERLOOKED ONE THING! You don't have a %bam right now, do you!?!? | msg $nick YOUR COMPUTER WILL NOW CRASH!! | msg $nick OK not really. I totally tricked you. Bahaha. | halt }
}
on *:text:No:?: {
  if (%next == 1) { msg $nick What? Why don't you want to reboot.. | set %next 2 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 2) { msg $nick Pshh. You so want to reboot. I'll give you another chance. | set %next 3 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 3) { msg $nick I JUST SAID THAT YOU WANT TO REBOOT! You don't know what you want. | set %next 4 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 4) { msg $nick Pshoo. | set %next 5 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 5) { msg $nick OMG. You want to reboot. Otherwise your computer will crash. Listen. [VARIOUS CRASHING NOISES] hear that? That's the sound of your computer crying out to you. "Reeboot.. reboot me, please.. REBOOOOOOOT!!!" | set %next 6 | msg $nick Would you like to reboot? Yes/No | halt }
  if (%next == 6) { msg $nick If you're reading this message, it means you're an idiot! | set %next 7 | Would you like to hit your computer with A. a rake B. a hammer or C. a small child? A/B/C | halt }
  if (%next == 8) { msg $nick Well then. YOUR COMPUTER WILL NOW CRASH!!! | msg $nick OK not really. I totally tricked you. Bahaha. | halt }

}
on *:text:A:?: {
  if (%next == 7) { msg $nick What? You want to hit your computer with a RAKE? Why not a hammer? They break things better. I mean, seriously. | set %next 8 | msg $nick Sure you want to hit it with a rake? Yes/No | set %bam rake | halt }
}
on *:text:B:?: {
  if (%next == 7) { msg $nick HELLZ YEAH! Unfortunately I'm required by law to ask.. | set %next 8 | msg $nick Are you sure you want to hit your computer with a hammer? Yes/No | set %bam hammer | halt }
}
on *:text:C:?: {
  if (%next == 7) { msg $nick You, my friend, are a sick, sick person. Think about it from the small child's point of view. He doesn't want to have his head bashed against a computer out of nowhere. He just wants to mind his own business and only bother his parents and siblings. | set %next 8 | msg $nick Are you sure you want to hit your computer with a small child? Yes/No | set %bam small child | halt }
}